The Unexpurgated Dickens

Imagine that Charles Dickens had been wackier and his great works had needed editing before they were published. What might they have been like before the editors applied their influence?

When Nickelby was Nicholas,
a copperfield our Dave,
Marley pulled a toilet chain
and Scrooge's end was grave.

They sold two breasts in Paris,
which was great as you'd expect,
but Oliver then twisted things 
so Bill's Sykes change was wrecked.

Fagin's gold from Nancy's boys
helped our mutated friends
so rather than find Ed's wind rude
Martin guzzled it both ends.

Each publishing house found this too bleak,
Returns would be slim pickings;
That's why these curiosities stopped,
these rarities of Dickens.