The Boat is Past its Best

 

These are lyrics to a new sea song The Boat is Past its Best.

The chorus and phrases in parentheses are sung by everyone. The remainder is for one or more soloists. The concept is simple. The crew are humorously telling us (or reminiscing between each other) about their old boat - a craft close to their hearts but clearly reaching the end of its working life.

1. We've got a boat (we've got a boat)

We've had it years, it's still afloat

But there are times (but there are times)

it puts us to the test.

For there is more (yes there is more)

time spent on fixes whilst ashore 

We often think (we often think

"The boat is past its best.")

CHORUS 

It's past its best, we're sad to say

Repairs - there've been a lot

The boat is past its best today

But it is all we've got.

It's served us well, it's kept us safe,

It gave us fellowship, 

It's past its best but we have faith:

We'll give it one more trip.

2. A bit broke off (a bit broke off)

Dropped from the masthead up aloft

yet no one was (yet no one was)

up there in the crow's nest.

The jib once ripped (the jib once ripped);

We had no spare, the captain flipped

and growled to us (and growled to us

"The boat is past its best.")

3. The compass jammed (the compass jammed)

We didn't go where we had planned,

went further south (went further south);

we meant to go due west.

Our rudder caught (our rudder caught)

on weed, we listed to the port

and so we cursed (and so we cursed 

"The boat is past its best.")

4. The anchor chain (the anchor chain)

came loose, we drifted off again.

It took an hour (it took an hour)

to bring the boat to rest.

The hawser rope (the hawser rope)

tied to the dock would have to cope.

Ashore we sighed (ashore we sighed,

"The boat is past its best.")

Bad Service

Sadly, we all come across bad customer service or workmanship from time to time. A friend of mine encounters more than her fair share of bad service, even in the area of medical consultation.

I wrote this to cheer her up.

Some days are quite annoying,

Some days will make you seethe,

Some days are full of people

almost far too thick to breathe,

Some days you start to wonder

if you're on some sort of list

that morons use to treat you

as if YOU should not exist.

But it's not paranoia.

They really are that thick.

It's social evolution

that their heads have grown a dick.

That's why they screw up like they do;

Although their fatal flaw

Will be the time they screw themselves

And end up out the door.

If you can help that day arrive

Each time you make a stand,

Perhaps incompetence will be

reduced or even banned.

I know such optimism

may be hard but "what the hey":

Cross your fingers and take hope

Tomorrow is that day.