Sunday, 9 August 2015


For this poem, I think a passing Facebook post started me thinking. Sometimes the appropriate insult or concise description isn't instantly available. We either need assistance at the relevant time, or be prepared to do some decent work beforehand to have those words at our instant beck and call.


We are blessed with a wonderful language
with words that are varied and deep.
Some just roll of the tongue, ...
some are short, some are long
and some that a censor may bleep.

But there are those times when the right word won’t come,
when you’re faced with new kind of fool.
You don’t get results
with the usual insults;
You need something diff’rent - a tool.

A tool that assesses the object of note
Assessing the faults it portrays,
choosing each syllable,
something distillable,
making a word or a phrase.

It could start by defining some attributes
And forming a phrase or a clause
then, using synonyms
It could form acronyms –
a way to condense all their flaws.

Until there’s a unit out there we can use
we’ll need to do prep on our own.
Take some time; be reflective
for future invective.
And prepare to enjoy a good moan.

Examples (no doubt you can do better)
GUDANSOR: Grammatically Unsound, Derivative And No Sense Of Rhythm
SCRIT: Supposed Celebrity Requiring Immediate Termination
TWACS: Totally Without Any Common Sense
PEFAHB: Poor Excuse For A Human Being
OMARIJ: Opens Mouth And Rectum Is Jealous
VATCH: Vindictive Acid-Tongued Corrupt Hag/Heel