Haul Away Joe (Election Political Parody)

 General election time. Another sea shanty seems appropriate.

Let 'em All Go (Haul Away Joe)

1. Once the people weren't so mad

But Twenty Ten descended

REFRAIN: Chuck it away, and let it all go!

They voted in Dave Cameron

And sanity it ended

REFRAIN: Chuck it away, and let it all go!

CHORUS 1

Chuck it away, the Tories getting bolder

Chuck it away, and let it all go!

Chuck it away, a weight we'd have to shoulder

Chuck it away, and let it all go!

 

2. We thought it wouldn't be so bad

A Lib Dem coalition (+ REFRAIN)

It didn't stop austerity

That social demolition (+ REFRAIN)  

MAIN CHORUS

Chuck it away, to asset-stripping Tories

Chuck it away, and let it all go!

Chuck it away, experience what poor is,

Chuck it away, and let it all go!

3. Farage, he conned the government

To call a referendum (+ REFRAIN)

With lies upon a big red bus

Our rights, they planned to end 'em (+ REFRAIN)

4. When Davy scrammed, Theresa May 

Was called to handle Brexit (+ REFRAIN)

The endless arguments, they led 

to her chaotic exit (+ REFRAIN)

5. A populist buffoon came next

A charismatic liar (+ REFRAIN)  

Surrounded by his yes men

He would feed us to the fire (+ REFRAIN)  

6. Inept uncaring Boris

And each profiteering donor (+ REFRAIN)  

They ignored rules that they had set

Whilst we died from Corona (+ REFRAIN)  

7. It took an age to kick him out

A little gem came after (+ REFRAIN)  

She caused an economic crash

Could it become much dafter? (+ REFRAIN)  

8. A multi-millionaire came next

For whom no member voted (+ REFRAIN)  

And all the time our rights were trashed

And culture wars promoted (+ REFRAIN)  

9. They pushed through laws to strengthen 

their control and steal our future (+ REFRAIN)  

After fourteen years descent please say

Election Day will suit ya! (+ REFRAIN)  

10. Well now can’t you see, polling day is nearing (+ REFRAIN)  

End of the week, I hope that we'll be cheering (+ REFRAIN)  

Vote them away, those asset-stripping Tories

Vote them away, and let them ALL go!

Vote them away, show them where the door is,

Vote them away, and let them ALL go!

Vote them away, and see them gone forever 

Vote them away, and let them ALL go!

Vote them away and beat them hell for leather 

Vote them away, and let them ALL go!

Tory Ravaged Nation (Willy Wonka political parody)

I saw a mockup image of Rishi Sunak dressed as Willy Wonka. This alone was the inspiration for a Pure Imagination parody

Tory Ravaged Nation

Come with me and you'll be

In a world - a Tory ravaged nation.

We're corrupt, fueled by greed,

and we don't believe in limitations 

We don't bother with spin,

Playing fast and loose with defamation

Feed the public each lie...

Degradation.

If you're told your town is on the rise, 

Simply look around, we'll screw it

Insufficient funds? Blew it -

On our friends and donors 

They've gone through it

It is evil, we know

But we love our Tory ravaged nation

So despair, we don't care

'Cause I only think of me.

If you want some decent services

We won't give you funding for it

Raid our coffers, we abhor it

Need a living wage? 

We'll just ignore it.

It is evil, we know

But we love our Tory ravaged nation

So despair, we don't care

'Cause I only think of me.

Hey Mickey (Political Parody)

Frustration at governments with whom one is opposed is not unusual. I find that writing parody lyrics to well-known songs is fun anyway, so combining this with political commentary is an ideal vehicle to provide some relief. This is but one. (More to follow)

Hey Mickey (Toni Basil)

(Chant, repeat 4 times) 

Oh Rishi, you're a swine

You paid a fine, another time 

Hey Rishi, hey Rishi

Hey Rishi

Your party is a fright and twelve years' a little long

You represent far right but I think you've got it wrong

Why can't you be less tight?

So we can heat our homes, Rishi

'Cause when you say you will, it always means you won't

You're givin' us the chills, maybe freeze maybe don't

Every blight you instill leaves us all to moan, Rishi

CHORUS

Oh Rishi, what a pity, all that you have planned

It tears us all apart with each cut or tax demand

Oh Rishi in the City, we all understand

It's guys like you, Rishi

Ooh what you do Rishi, do Rishi

Won't you depart, Rishi

Hey Rishi

Now with our income devalued and your cronies getting mo'

Even though there's proof, mainstream media you control

There's something you misuse? We won't hear so, Rishi

You'll come on and take it from us anyway you can

Anyway you want to do it, now you've got a protest ban

And sleaze, MP sleaze - you put us in this jam Rishi

Chorus, Chant × 4, Chorus × 4

Dancing in the Street (Partygate Political Parody)

The behaviour of Boris Johnson and his merry band of Covid rulebreakers was rich for parody. 

Down in Downing Street

Callin' out around the world
Are you ready for a brand new cheat
Boris here - and the time is right
To chance in Downing Street

We're chancing from the get go (that's in Downing Street)
Lie 'bout Europeans (that's in Downing Street)
We do talk shitty (that's in Downing Street)
All our greed - abusin', we're abusin',
Rights abusin' everywhere

There'll be tricking, betrayin' and donors paying
Down in Downing Street

It doesn't matter what you say
Just deny that you were there;
The proles will  - buy each lie we unfurl
We don't care about the world
'Cause we're chancing (that's in Downing Street) 
etc

Java Jive (Political parody and rich roast)

Sometimes a particular politician inspires ire with their behaviour. This time, Therese Coffey.

Java Jive

I hate Coffey, hate Tor-ee

Hate her brazen lies at the ministry

Coffey Tor-ee, the conniving you see,

Muck up, muck up, muck up, muck up, give up!

Each palaver, from this clot

Whoops! Theresa Coffey, country's gone to pot

You've lost the plot, empathetic you're not

Cock up, cock up, cock up, cock up, give up!

How they make things worse, raid the taxpayers' purse

It's an extra curse when they act so perverse

An evil harridan, a flawed one, a gorgon,

Prater, baiter, sack the traitor!

I hate Coffey, hate Tor-ee

Hate her brazen lies at the ministry

Coffey Tor-ee, the conniving you see,

Muck up, muck up, muck up, muck up, give up!

Remember TV?

 

Image from: RawPixel

Remember TV?

Remember how TVs used to be -
When channels numbered only three,
When colour was a luxury
With adverts just on ITV?
 

Remember when you switched it on
Did you have this phenomenon
When static would encroach upon
The TV screen? Or was there none?

Remember that a dial was used -
a dozen digits were perused.
The relevance? You'll be bemused,
12-13, 9 or U? Confused.
 

Remember what the rest would show?
A range of different textured snow.
It was those three you had to know
to watch a broadcast TV show.
 

Remember when the image rolled
so much it had to be controlled
A range of knobs to be cajoled
And one of these was marked Vert. Hold.
 

Remember when, before the news
The kids did not have much to choose.
The Magic Roundabout? No clues
which drugs the writers used to use.
 

Remember when the only stream
was filled by critters of esteem?
"Tales of the Riverbank"; I deem
Hammy Hamster was supreme.
 

Remember when most of the day
the testcard was the sole display?
So not much was worth watching - hey!
Programmes are just the same today!

 

 

 

Winter Mornings

Something neither political or shanty related today. I don't know if it's a belated after effect of catching Covid-19 last year, but I note my eyes are a touch more light-sensitive when I awaken. Combine this with the resumption of a cold spate of weather and it took me a while to get out of bed. This inspired a short poem. 

The following day I noted frost on top of the cars parked in my street. This confirmed that I was right to turn my radiators on again - however briefly this period should be!

 

 

Winter Mornings

 

T'was far too bright for tired eyes.

From winter sun they hid.

I raised the duvet just a nick

and risked one peeper's lid.

I squinted at the clock display;

I thought that I should rise.

I let the cotton tunnel drop -

too bright for tired eyes.

 

The air's too cold for backs of arms.

The temp'rature's too low

I turned the radiators off

A couple-o' days ago.

The warmer spell was just a blip.

The bed still holds those charms.

I let the duvet drop again;

too cold for backs of arms.

 

Perhaps I should get out of bed

despite the light and cold.

Though forty minutes have passed by

it's not because I'm bold.

I'm not as young as once I was;

that's why I raise my head.

My bladder overrules my brain -

I should get out of bed.