tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12384709697088679642024-03-14T08:48:51.859+00:00Some Wry T'ingsMy poems and other wordy stuff - plus anything else that makes me smile or go "Hmm..." Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.comBlogger120125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-50368624454850914282023-02-14T11:26:00.000+00:002023-02-14T11:26:15.757+00:00Remember TV?<div style="text-align: left;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF4hVmv7Zro-SiwLEv_m0XzQxE8y-vxeo-UwfXL6Be6QaII_l2mgfx_ZKTs_EBPwdAa-jcFe5PJ0TyjqisiJ8WCgWFLbWWJsgPlG6v4W-Q-iG940q5zLSbbO71pZ70PLSxZ-TnBTNiy1LBIpoOfOEOtyUSSPOczXsTfVx8GTHgTZbJLB9Zvn1cu1dENw/s800/px846522-image-kwvuxk6p.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="701" data-original-width="800" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF4hVmv7Zro-SiwLEv_m0XzQxE8y-vxeo-UwfXL6Be6QaII_l2mgfx_ZKTs_EBPwdAa-jcFe5PJ0TyjqisiJ8WCgWFLbWWJsgPlG6v4W-Q-iG940q5zLSbbO71pZ70PLSxZ-TnBTNiy1LBIpoOfOEOtyUSSPOczXsTfVx8GTHgTZbJLB9Zvn1cu1dENw/s320/px846522-image-kwvuxk6p.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Image from: RawPixel</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><h3 style="text-align: left;">Remember TV?</h3></div><div style="text-align: left;">Remember how TVs used to be -<br />When channels numbered only three,<br />When colour was a luxury<br />With adverts just on ITV?<br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Remember when you switched it on<br />Did you have this phenomenon<br />When static would encroach upon<br />The TV screen? Or was there none?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Remember that a dial was used -<br />a dozen digits were perused.<br />The relevance? You'll be bemused,<br />12-13, 9 or U? Confused.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Remember what the rest would show?<br />A range of different textured snow.<br />It was those three you had to know<br />to watch a broadcast TV show.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Remember when the image rolled<br />so much it had to be controlled<br />A range of knobs to be cajoled<br />And one of these was marked Vert. Hold.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Remember when, before the news<br />The kids did not have much to choose.<br />The Magic Roundabout? No clues <br />which drugs the writers used to use.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Remember when the only stream<br />was filled by critters of esteem?<br />"Tales of the Riverbank"; I deem<br />Hammy Hamster was supreme.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Remember when most of the day<br />the testcard was the sole display?<br />So not much was worth watching - hey!<br />Programmes are just the same today!</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-76414347395083594422023-02-07T15:35:00.000+00:002023-02-07T15:35:36.016+00:00Winter Mornings<div style="text-align: left;">Something neither political or shanty related today. I don't know if it's a belated after effect of catching Covid-19 last year, but I note my eyes are a touch more light-sensitive when I awaken. Combine this with the resumption of a cold spate of weather and it took me a while to get out of bed. This inspired a short poem. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The following day I noted frost on top of the cars parked in my street. This confirmed that I was right to turn my radiators on again - however briefly this period should be!<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto"><div class="x1e56ztr"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u"><span><b>Winter Mornings</b></span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u"><span><b> </b></span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u"></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">T'was far too bright for tired eyes.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">From winter sun they hid. </span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I raised the duvet just a nick</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">and risked one peeper's lid.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I squinted at the clock display;</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I thought that I should rise.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I let the cotton tunnel drop -</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">too bright for tired eyes.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u"> </span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u"></span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">The air's too cold for backs of arms.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">The temp'rature's too low</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I turned the radiators off</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">A couple-o' days ago.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">The warmer spell was just a blip.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">The bed still holds those charms.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I let the duvet drop again;</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">too cold for backs of arms.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u"></span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u"> </span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">Perhaps I should get out of bed</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">despite the light and cold.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">Though forty minutes have passed by</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">it's not because I'm bold.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I'm not as young as once I was;</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">that's why I raise my head.</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">My bladder overrules my brain -</span></span></div><div class="x1e56ztr"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u">I should get out of bed.</span></span></div></span><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><br /></div><p> </p>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-66738366983920056772022-11-11T15:49:00.002+00:002022-11-11T15:50:46.907+00:00The Boat is Past its Best<div style="text-align: left;"> <br /><div>These are lyrics to a new sea song <i>The Boat is Past its Best</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>The chorus and phrases in parentheses are sung by everyone. The remainder is for one or more soloists. The concept is simple. The crew are humorously telling us (or reminiscing between each other) about their old boat - a craft close to their hearts but clearly reaching the end of its working life.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>1. We've got a boat (we've got a boat)</div><div>We've had it years, it's still afloat</div><div>But there are times (but there are times)</div><div>it puts us to the test.</div><div>For there is more (yes there is more)</div><div>time spent on fixes whilst ashore </div><div>We often think (we often think</div><div>"The boat is past its best.")</div><div><br /></div><div>CHORUS </div><div>It's past its best, we're sad to say</div><div>Repairs - there've been a lot</div><div>The boat is past its best today</div><div>But it is all we've got.</div><div>It's served us well, it's kept us safe,</div><div>It gave us fellowship, </div><div>It's past its best but we have faith:</div><div>We'll give it one more trip.</div><div><br /></div><div>2. A bit broke off (a bit broke off)</div><div>Dropped from the masthead up aloft</div><div>yet no one was (yet no one was)</div><div>up there in the crow's nest.</div><div>The jib once ripped (the jib once ripped);</div><div>We had no spare, the captain flipped</div><div>and growled to us (and growled to us</div><div>"The boat is past its best.")</div><div><br /></div><div>3. The compass jammed (the compass jammed)</div><div>We didn't go where we had planned,</div><div>went further south (went further south);</div><div>we meant to go due west.</div><div>Our rudder caught (our rudder caught)</div><div>on weed, we listed to the port</div><div>and so we cursed (and so we cursed </div><div>"The boat is past its best.")</div><div><br /></div><div>4. The anchor chain (the anchor chain)</div><div>came loose, we drifted off again.</div><div>It took an hour (it took an hour)</div><div>to bring the boat to rest.</div><div>The hawser rope (the hawser rope)</div><div>tied to the dock would have to cope.</div><div>Ashore we sighed (ashore we sighed,</div><div>"The boat is past its best.")</div><div><br /></div><br /><br /></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-64243969492235433862022-11-10T16:57:00.000+00:002022-11-10T16:57:03.487+00:00Bad Service<p>Sadly, we all come across bad customer service or workmanship from time to time. A friend of mine encounters more than her fair share of bad service, even in the area of medical consultation.</p><p>I wrote this to cheer her up.</p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: #f0f2f5; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Some days are quite annoying,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a>Some days will make you seethe,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Some days are full of people</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">almost far too thick to breathe,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Some days you start to wonder</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">if you're on some sort of list</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">that morons use to treat you</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">as if YOU should not exist.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: #f0f2f5; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">But it's not paranoia.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">They really are that thick.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It's social evolution</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">that their heads have grown a dick.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">That's why they screw up like they do;</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Although their fatal flaw</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Will be the time they screw themselves</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And end up out the door.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: #f0f2f5; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">If you can help that day arrive</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Each time you make a stand,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Perhaps incompetence will be</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">reduced or even banned.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I know such optimism</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">may be hard but "what the hey":</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Cross your fingers and take hope</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Tomorrow is that day.</div></div><p><br /></p>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-30639251823475406502022-09-25T00:52:00.003+01:002022-09-25T00:52:46.078+01:00November is Lurking<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Taking a break from political poems, this verse is Hallowe'en themed</span>.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;">November is Lurking</h3><p>November is lurking, just one night remains,<br />a deep ferrous odour pervades.<br />The flickering, nacreous light barely shows<br />what was lurking, it further degrades.<br />It might be it’s gone and returned to its lair,<br />the silence suggests solitude,<br />but maybe it’s waiting for prey to approach – <br />a typical trait of its brood.<br />The floor, it feels sticky, suggesting it’s fed;<br />it could be it’s sated, who knows?<br />Your foot catches something, revealed as a head<br />only briefly – then all the light goes.<br /><br />There, in the darkness, dead lamp in your hand,<br />staying still, hoping eyes will adjust.<br />And still, there’s no sound – you don’t know if it’s there,<br />And still there’s that deep smell of rust.<br />A thought comes, insidious, feelings of doubt,<br />Was it wise on this All Hallow’s Eve<br />to venture where others have gone and been lost – <br />or so we’ve been led to believe?<br />Deciding to leave you begin to back out.<br />Without warning sharp claws hold you tight. <br />A mouth dripping mucus rasps into your ear,<br />“My name is November. Goodnight.”<br /><br /></p>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-84460101596299438282022-08-20T16:21:00.001+01:002022-08-20T16:22:35.596+01:00The Tory Clan (Wellerman parody)<div style="text-align: left;">I know it's not politically balanced, but I look at it this way. I'm prepared to share my vitriol upon a party of <i>any</i> persuasion who are in government if they treat their people with such contempt.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In any case, writing these poems/lyrics is carthartic and I'm fond of creating parodies!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><p dir="ltr"><b>The Tory Clan</b><br />
(To the melody of The Wellerman)</p>
<p dir="ltr">1.There once was a slip and conned were we<br />
To give control to the Tory party,<br />
They're so corrupt, they grind us down,<br />
They grow, these bully boys grow (huh)<br />
<br />
CHORUS <br />
Rees-Mogg and Braverman come<br />
With Patel, Dorries, Coffey, Raab (dumb),<br />
Truss, Rishi from Boris's bum,<br />
They'll take our lives and go. </p>
<p dir="ltr">2. Nadhim Zahawi is one more<br />
Kwarteng, Cleverly, Eustice: poor<br />(in morals - for they rake in more,<br />
their donors all aglow) (huh)</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. Barclay, Wallace, Malthouse and Shapps<br />don't care about the energy caps<br />
as power falls into their laps<br />
Who cares if poverty grows (huh) </p>
<p dir="ltr">4. Javid, Gove no longer around<br />but hanging on - that Boris clown,<br />
Care home numbers were brought down <br />
Matt Hancock had to go (huh)</p>
<p dir="ltr">5. We wonder how long can it last,<br />
Restrictions on our freedoms passed,<br />
We can only hope it's soon these nasty<br />
sub-humans will go (huh)</p><br /></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-42710437135145228232022-08-11T00:36:00.005+01:002022-09-16T10:25:43.827+01:00Drive Down Wages<p>Another political poem, with the vague idea of creating a protest song.</p><p>The current squeeze on the low paid is becoming intolerable, with energy prices creating vast profits whilst more and more people are having to choose between eating or heating their homes. Government seem more interested in placating the donors that finance their party rather than caring for the populace. The fuel price increases affect everything else including food.</p><p>All material for a protest song.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Drive Down Wages</b></p><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Drive down wages as the profits soar</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Shareholder dividends are at the core</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Funds to a government - their corporate whore</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Mutual benefit, and they want more.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Shift blame to those whose lives are on the floor</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Paid media outlets will take on this chore</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Front page scapegoats we can all abhor</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Distract the masses - glitz and glam galore.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">If things get tight then blame a foreign war</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Cut back on services already raw</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Private consultancies will then ensure</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Tax payer monies go to banks offshore.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When prices rise and rise and rise some more</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When people starve because they're made too poor</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">We can't protest because it's 'gainst the law</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Don't fret - be happy that the profits soar.</div></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-66632721218708718542022-08-07T10:04:00.002+01:002022-08-11T00:38:01.526+01:00The Idiot at the Door<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This poem needs context. At the time of writing we have a right-wing government and there is a growing dissatisfaction in the populace about their handling of the economy and their disastrous lack of care for all but the wealthy and corporate supporters that finance them.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div>This political poem was in response to a friend's reaction to an unexpected visitor - a supporter of the government's local representive, actually polling to see if they could expect her vote. Her views are diametrically opposed but she was so shocked at the audacity of the caller she was unable to summon the vitriol she considered apt.</div><div><br /></div><div>Having written this, I needed a title. I considered "The Poll Chancer", "Door to Door Failsman", "The Noddy Politic" but decided on a simpler one.</div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>The Idiot at the Door</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle" style="background-color: #f0f2f5; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">On <u>Sat</u>urday a <u>knock</u> came - a <u>knock</u> upon my <u>door</u>.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I <u>ope</u>ned it and <u>saw</u> a man - what <u>had</u> he come here <u>for</u>?</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He <u>asked</u> a question, <u>one</u> in<u>com</u>pre<u>hens</u>ible to <u>me</u></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He <u>sure</u>ly <u>was</u>n't <u>ser</u>ious <u>yet</u> he <u>smiled</u> ex<u>pec</u>tantly.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"I <u>rep</u>resent your <u>M</u>P and we're <u>here</u> to take some <u>notes</u>.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">We <u>won</u>dered if, come <u>poll</u>ing day, will <u>yours</u> be 'mongst our <u>votes</u>?"</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle" style="background-color: #f0f2f5; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">As <u>gob</u>smacked as I <u>was</u> I barely <u>man</u>aged a re<u>ply</u>.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A <u>"no"</u> seemed insu<u>ffi</u>cient, but e<u>nough</u>. He said, "good<u>bye</u>."</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">But <u>aft</u>erwards, u<u>pon</u> this incon<u>gru</u>ity, I <u>mused</u>:</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Was it <u>shock</u> at their stu<u>pid</u>ity? Such <u>words</u> I <i>could</i> have <u>used</u>!</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle" style="background-color: #f0f2f5; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I'd rather swallow broken glass,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">or tattoo Boris on my ass,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Let spiders lay eggs in my ears,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Have pus infuse my hourly beers,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Run naked through the flames of hell,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Endure a burning methane smell</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">from dragons eating diseased meat,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Chew fungal skin from Rees-Mogg's feet...</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle" style="background-color: #f0f2f5; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I <u>could</u> go on (you <u>get</u> the gist)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The <u>op</u>por<u>tun</u>i<u>ty</u> I missed</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">To let the <u>mor</u>on on my <u>path</u></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><u>Think</u> I was a <u>pol</u>ym<u>ath</u>,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">To <u>blind</u> the berk with <u>rhet</u>oric</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">To <u>make</u> him real<u>ise</u> he's thick.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It <u>takes</u> a <u>Mob</u>ius <u>log</u>ic twist</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">For <u>each</u> Tory a<u>pol</u>ogist,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So <u>fin</u>ally, I'll <u>sum</u>marise:</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I <u>will</u> not bow to <u>Tor</u>y lies,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And <u>when</u> you're asking <u>for</u> my vote,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It's "<u>grow</u> a brain, you <u>sil</u>ly scrote."</div></div><br /><br /></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-35483684961785321562022-04-14T16:56:00.001+01:002022-04-14T16:58:31.733+01:00Parody: My Way<p>Do you ever mis-speak a song lyric without really thinking? Yes? But do you then ever feel inspired to complete the parody? Sometimes I do.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>My Way </b></p>
<p dir="ltr">And now, I drank some beer,<br />
Too much I fear, like Richard Burton<br />
It start...ed with good cheer <br />
Got off my face, of that I'm certain.<br />
I guess... I spoke some bull<br />
Offended some, and yet if I may,<br />
I'll say, that's what I do,<br />
I imbibe my way.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Cig'rettes, I've had a few<br />
I've spluttered through, but I should mention <br />
I find, if I can choose,<br />
I'd prefer booze to use my pension.<br />
When canned, I choose - of course - <br />
the strongest ale for cash that I pay,<br />
It means less breaks to whizz;<br />
I imbibe my way.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Lager and limes, a jar or two,<br />
When beer is off, what can you do?<br />
But won't have more, there is no doubt,<br />
I'd have a change, and drink some stout!<br />
I'd drink it all, lean on the wall <br />
And imbibe my way.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've loved to quaff with pride<br />
I've had a swill when I am cruising <br />
And now my brain is fried<br />
I still will try to keep on boozing<br />
I puked upon on the cat<br />
(It ran away, off down the highway)<br />
But do not fret, it did come back.<br />
I imbibe my way.</p>
<p dir="ltr">For what is a can? What is a shot?<br />
What is a glass? Get a pint pot!<br />
Forget the pie that just congeals<br />
And get a scotch 'til my head reels, <br />
With my red nose, the record shows<br />
I imbibe my way. <br />
</p>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-51208834883056305312022-01-13T11:54:00.000+00:002022-08-11T00:44:49.607+01:00Political Parties<p>Recently I find the political situation in the UK to be a rich source of inspiration for poems. </p><p>During a time when the government imposed strict rules to limit the spread of coronavirus, the population made sacrifices - one of the most heartbreaking being the restriction against being with loved ones in their dying hours.</p><p>Reports of social gatherings and parties within government were at first denied, then deflected by the Prime Minister. As evidence emerged, stories changed, eventually leading to a supposed apology in the House of Commons. At the time of writing, criminal responsibility and political fallout has still to be ascertained. </p><p>This is the background to this poem.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Political Parties</span></h3><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The PM said there were no parties,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">then said that they followed all guidelines,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">then in a knee-jerk </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">later claimed it was work, </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">hoping it was consigned to the sidelines.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Enraged that there "could" have been parties </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The PM denied that he'd known,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Enquiries were needed</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">before he conceded</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">that any lockdown rules were blown. </div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When photos of Downing St garden</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">showed people with cheese and with wine,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">it was merely a meeting </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">and no one was cheating -</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">the PM said all this was fine.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Whilst investigations continued</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The chap at the helm stood aside</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It was for the best</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">As a conflict of int'rest</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">made him the wrong guy to decide.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The PM still denied involvement</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">in parties around Number Ten.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A picture was posted </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">of a quiz that he hosted -</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">a party hat meeting again?</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">One hundred were emailed in lockdown</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">To make the best use of good weather, </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">to bring their own booze </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">if they should so choose,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">to drink, socially-distanced, together.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It emerged that forty attended</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">with trestles set up with some nibbles.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">An unlikely meeting </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">With boozing and eating;</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Mistaken for work, came the quibbles. </div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">But who could have made such an error?</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The PM himself had attended</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">At first he'd not twigged</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">As the attendees swigged -</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">at least, that's how it was defended.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">So now what does ev'ryone think?</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When he said that no parties occurred</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He'd not just been wrong</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He'd been there all along</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Denials are simply absurd.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The PM had lied to the House.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He'd partied and broken the rules.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Whilst Britons had died</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He had partied and lied</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And treated the people like fools.</div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Apologies will not suffice.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Whilst rare, don't believe they're sincere.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">He won't leave by his choosing;</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When his party fear losing,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Maybe then there's a chance that day's near.</div></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-2002713084281016202022-01-07T22:19:00.004+00:002022-01-07T22:19:47.137+00:00The Unexpurgated Dickens<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Imagine that Charles Dickens had been wackier and his great works had needed editing before they were published. What might they have been like before the editors applied their influence?</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: left;">When Nickelby was Nicholas,<br />a copperfield our Dave,<br />Marley pulled a toilet chain<br />and Scrooge's end was grave.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />They sold two breasts in Paris,<br />which was great as you'd expect,<br />but Oliver then twisted things <br />so Bill's Sykes change was wrecked.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Fagin's gold from Nancy's boys<br />helped our mutated friends<br />so rather than find Ed's wind rude<br />Martin guzzled it both ends.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Each publishing house found this too bleak,<br />Returns would be slim pickings;<br />That's why these curiosities stopped,<br />these rarities of Dickens.</div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-91615345786147716742022-01-07T22:11:00.000+00:002022-01-07T22:11:43.981+00:00New Year 2022<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Sometimes one starts to write a poem and it runs away with you. This one did, and as it ran it became progressively darker. The trouble was, it was supposed to be a short rhyme to mark the new year! The last couplet applies the brakes. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Satire?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">No, I'm in my usual chair...</span></p><p><br /></p><div style="text-align: left;">When plague descends upon the world<br />When rights are picked away<br />When parasites pretend to lead<br />When foolishness holds sway<br />When lies are told repeatedly <br />When truth is oft ignored<br />When mainstream media's controlled <br />When food's hard to afford<br />When profiteering causes deaths<br />When facts get in the way<br />Cheer up! It couldn't happen here!<br />Enjoy this New Year's Day! </div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-44027474039233525792022-01-07T22:04:00.000+00:002022-01-07T22:04:04.794+00:00Rear Wind Oh!<p><span style="font-family: arial;">It is an odd world. When a reality star makes money by breaking wind into jars in order to sell them, it's another example of that.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When there's a report that this same reality star has been hospitalised for overdoing it, then it might just inspire a poem.</span></p><p><br /></p><div style="text-align: left;">"Effervescence of the bowels, my dear,<br />It's better out than in;<br />Expel the noxious fumes without<br />They may ferment within.<br />Now if you must contain yourself,<br />but wish to profiteer<br />Sterilise a jam jar then <br />insert it in your rear.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Discharge the methane slowly<br />and when the jar is full,<br />Tighten up your sphincter<br />And check the void is null.<br />If all is well then screw the lid<br />Upon the gas-filled jar;<br />repeat the process 'til you're done -<br />you'll know the time you are.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Now if you've done your marketing, <br />have buyers for your gas,<br />price up your jars accordingly <br />and rake in all that brass.<br />But don't do this to great excess,<br />For it's a guarantee<br />If you progress to demi-johns<br />You will need A & E." </div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-22231820035899413172021-04-15T18:35:00.000+01:002021-04-15T18:35:02.899+01:00The Happy Cynic<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hZvLWVB48pk/YHh4q8p3F0I/AAAAAAAAAwY/tlFBL-e8CMk3keXiVPeAz5fIoNO-9oxRgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1148/20210415_182549.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1148" data-original-width="804" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hZvLWVB48pk/YHh4q8p3F0I/AAAAAAAAAwY/tlFBL-e8CMk3keXiVPeAz5fIoNO-9oxRgCLcBGAsYHQ/w224-h320/20210415_182549.jpg" width="224" /></a></div><br />I used to be a jolly chap <p></p><p>Expecting all would go quite well,</p><p>Then found that unexpected crap</p><p>Would foul things up, would go to hell.</p><p>The disappointment that ensued</p><p>Would tend to make these matters worse</p><p>So optimism I eschewed </p><p>And found a way to break this curse...</p><p><br /></p><p>It's fun to be a cynic when</p><p>you're faced with life's dilemmas; don't</p><p>Assume that all will be fine when</p><p>the truth is that it prob'ly won't.</p><p>When things go wrong you can delight;</p><p>You planned to minimise the kack,</p><p>But when you're wrong and things go right,</p><p>Just laugh - as things are back on track.</p>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-51039153881594926562021-03-21T19:27:00.000+00:002021-03-21T19:27:10.847+00:00A Year in Couplets<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Noticing the date, I thought I should write something. It started with one slightly contrived rhyme, then this poem grew into a rant before mellowing a little.</span></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>21 March 2021. World Poetry Day</b></p><div style="text-align: left;"><div><br /></div><div>It's odd that sometimes you will find</div><div>how rhyming couplets hide behind</div><div>coincidental facts and stuff;</div><div>and if you look, you'll see enough </div><div>to make you wonder then - if these </div><div>prove that poetic deities </div><div>are juggling with words and deeds,</div><div>so check out where this premise leads...</div><div><br /></div><div>There's...</div><div>Royal distractions, </div><div>Suspect transactions, </div><div>Contracts with no tenders,</div><div>Goods they don't send us,</div><div>Clap for the NHS,</div><div>Nurses pay increase less,</div><div>Cummings and goings,</div><div>Hypocrisy showings,</div><div>Each government mess,</div><div>A free ride from the press,</div><div>Protesting rights you lose,</div><div>Give more rights to statues,</div><div>Ministers expect thanks,</div><div>(Just ignore those food banks).</div><div>Michael Gove idiocy,</div><div>Rhymes with COVID here, see?</div><div><br /></div><div>But don't think that it's all bad news - </div><div>inept, corruption. Stop and muse.</div><div>There's many folk who've been our best</div><div>Despite Westminster, we've been blessed. </div><div><br /></div><div>There's...</div><div>Doctors and nurses,</div><div>Their skills and their mercies.</div><div>So school staff can teach us,</div><div>They learn new tech features;</div><div>The extra work they do,</div><div>That's unpaid, just for you.</div><div>Footballer's influence:</div><div>Shows feeding kids makes sense.</div><div>Helpful marks on the floors </div><div>That helps us in food stores, </div><div>Key staff there on the line</div><div>Help those forced to confine.</div><div>Captain Tom: how it is</div><div>We can help charities.</div><div>Offering labours</div><div>To help out our neighbours. </div><div><br /></div><div>So there we are, both good and bad,</div><div>A year of rhyme: inspiring, sad. </div><div>So what if some lines are contrived?</div><div>It's 'cause World Poetry Day's arrived.</div></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-29766990690197012002021-01-16T20:40:00.000+00:002021-01-16T20:40:48.644+00:00Give me a break - no, not like these<p>This was another of those quick poems in response to something on social media - this time, television commercials. As it references current commercials I expect the verse will become dated. That's no excuse not to write something though, is it?</p><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Three minutes to seven, it's ALDI and Kevin. <br />And then an address, by no less, M & S,</div><div style="text-align: left;">With Kev Bacon - don't groan - it's some tosh 'bout his phone </div><div style="text-align: left;">Then Sky or BT or PlusNet endlessly. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> Watch those pains in the neck, Santander, Ant and Dec, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Drink a beer, hope those ads from IKEA disappear </div><div style="text-align: left;">Bingos, Casinos, and that's how the cash goes </div><div style="text-align: left;">A husband and wife - smile 'bout death and Sun Life. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Celebs will enthuse about countless shampoos </div><div style="text-align: left;">Ferrero Rocher - no, I don't really care </div><div style="text-align: left;">No interest in banks, no Interest - those skanks; </div><div style="text-align: left;">All of these you won't see if you go for a pee.</div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-46461637908366048672020-12-29T13:23:00.002+00:002021-04-19T00:22:22.887+01:00Parody: Away in a Manger (Famous names)<p><span style="font-family: times;">Another parody, this time providing different lyrics to the Christmas carol Away in a Manger. Fitting famous names to the melody whilst trying to maintain key rhyming schemes resulted in the following</span>.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Away in a Manger (Famous Names Version)</b></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Faye Wray, Stewart Granger, <br />Chris Chib., Father Ted, <br />Sid Little, Lorne Greene, Dustin Gee, Mister Ed. <br />Pa Larkin, Kiera Knightly, <br />Luke, Han, Leia, Rey, <br />Siri, Lita Ford, Geezer,
Wayne Sleep, Andrew Ray.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Roy Castle, Jim Bowen, <br />Al Gore, Eddie Yates, <br />Muttley, Mary Peters,
Noel Clarke, Kathy Bates, <br />Olaf, Bernadette Peters, <br />Lou Grant, Buddy Guy, <br />Ant, Jeremy Clyde,
Tim Vine, Lady Di. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">P Diddy, The BeeGees, <br />Arthur Askey, Gru, May, <br />Joe Friday, Endeavour,
Brian Clough, Doris Day, <br />Daenerys Targaryen, <br />Steve Martin, Dan Dare, <br />Tom Baker, Sue Ellen,
Olivier, Cher.</span></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-81400715523398958432020-12-29T12:08:00.002+00:002021-04-19T00:22:39.210+01:00Parody: Wake me up before you go-go <p>This one was inspired by a simple spoonerism of <i>jitterbug</i>!</p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Make me up unsweetened cocoa</b> </span></p><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Bitter jug</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Bitter jug </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Bitter jug </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Bitter jug </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I had the mushroom stilton to start </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">And so I will not try </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Food from the dessert cart </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Saccharine or aspartame </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I'll also leave to hang but thank you all the same. </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"Avoiding sugary </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">food don't seem right," </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">my best friend told me </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">though his words seemed trite; </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">words I am keeping out my head. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Back, you demon, </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">'cause I'm having savoury instead! </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">CHORUS </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"Make me up unsweetened cocoa. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Don't give me syrup in a latté, no, no </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Make me up unsweetened cocoa," </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I said explicitly, "barista guy, </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Make me up unsweetened cocoa. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Do I have to ask again in slow-mo? </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Make me up unsweetened cocoa - </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">okay, you got it right... </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Barista guy, yeah, yeah!" </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">You take the Fun Size outta my way </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">You take the Crunchie, Mars Bar and Milky Way </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">You brought a sweet tub here when you came </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">My thanks, but take it back if it's all the same </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">'Cause, though they're tasty, can't be beat, </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">one can be hasty when they're nice to eat. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Avoid sickly sweets tonight; </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">If we eat them </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Trousers will become too tight </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">CHORUS </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Cauli's a maybe, Muesli's alright, </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">While some will eat out tomorrow night </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">We'll hold our time, and stay in instead </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Take a chance, </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">We'll eat Crackerbread </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(Bitter jug) </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">CHORUS </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Are you leaving? </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">A loon-goon-buffoon, oh! </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Assume-gloom-new-broom (un-fair) </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(Are you leaving tonight) Where? </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Where, where?</div></div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-10247993584940241402020-09-22T00:22:00.000+01:002021-04-19T00:23:26.903+01:00Parody: Riders on the Storm<div style="margin: 6px 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">From time to time I enjoy attempting parodies of well known songs. Sometimes this can be promoted by a misspoken lyric.</span></span></div><div style="margin: 6px 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">One that came unbidden a couple of days ago was the Doors' "Riders on the Storm"...</span></div><div style="margin: 6px 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">RIDING UP MY BUM</span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Riding up me bum<br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Riding up me bum<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Undies are creeping on<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Until they're almost gone<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Like a mole into a hole<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">It crawls into our soul<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Riding up me bum.</span></span></div><div style="margin: 6px 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br /></span></span>It is killin' all my hope<br />The pain - it's gettin' hard to cope<br />Take a wrong step and pay,<br />Future children? Nay.<br />If the situation rides<br />They'll be lost in my insides<br />Killin' all my hope, yeah</div><div style="margin: 6px 0px; text-align: left;"><br />Well, you gotta take a stand<br />Well, you gotta take a stand<br />Take yourself in hand<br />Somewhere under-manned<br />Don't care if it offends<br />Extract if from your end<br />Gotta take a stand, yeah</div><div style="margin: 6px 0px; text-align: left;"><br />Repeat verse 1</div><div style="margin: 6px 0px; text-align: left;"><br />Riding up me bum (until fade)</div>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-91795554636101428632020-09-02T15:27:00.000+01:002020-09-02T15:27:02.670+01:00Geometry<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jq-__eydpTk/X0-rTbgNVTI/AAAAAAAAAtU/jKUEQgc6gnAy5k_Pj6Py28lDazHUrQ9KQCLcBGAsYHQ/s800/triangle-shaped-gold-colored-decor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jq-__eydpTk/X0-rTbgNVTI/AAAAAAAAAtU/jKUEQgc6gnAy5k_Pj6Py28lDazHUrQ9KQCLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h133/triangle-shaped-gold-colored-decor.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Euclidean geometry:<br />
math'matics' poetry,<br />
Structure I hope you'll agree.<br />
Even if our intentions<br />
stick to two dimensions<br />
we'll find there is plenty to see.</p>
<p dir="ltr">'Cause even when flatter you'll<br />
find equilateral <br />
triangles are simply a breeze.<br />
Equal side lengths one expects <br />
But there at each vertex<br />
the angle's a cute sixty degrees. </p>
<p dir="ltr">If you stick two together<br />
you might wonder whether <br />
or not the result is worthwhile.<br />
If you want to discuss<br />
how you might form a rhombus,<br />
scrap the common line. Done. And with style.</p>
<p dir="ltr">When it comes to isosceles <br />
symmetry's there to please;<br />
two sides will measure the same.<br />
Each opposite angle<br />
within this triangle<br />
do too and that is their aim.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Take the side that's between<br />
and bisect it (I mean<br />
find the midpoint) and draw a straight line<br />
to the angle it faces;<br />
you'll find that this places<br />
two right-angles there. Worth a smile.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Getting ninety degrees<br />
in this way's the bee's knees<br />
For triangles like these are good news.<br />
Though the sides are uneven<br />
they're linked, I am leavin'<br />
a term for the long side - hypotenuse.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This might invoke mem'ry clues:<br />
Squares on hypotenuse<br />
If it has, all well and good.<br />
A Greek called called Pythagoras<br />
sussed this in years long past.<br />
Beauty? Yes, he understood.</p>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-81575742656224131442020-01-20T09:16:00.000+00:002020-01-20T09:16:32.051+00:00Enjoy the WaitThe poem title may seem ironic given the length of time since my last post.<br />
<br />
It is dedicated to those who have those agonising waits whilst their partner is enjoying extended retail therapy...<br />
<br />
<b>Enjoy the Wait</b><br />
<br />
If ever there's a reason<br />
(especially Christmas season)<br />
to take some inspiration from the scouts -<br />
No, don't think about your woggle!<br />
Your mind's no need to boggle;<br />
you should put aside unnecessary doubts.<br />
<br />
Be prepared, that's all I mean,<br />
(See? That's not at all obscene)<br />
when going with your partner to the sales.<br />
Give them all the time they need:<br />
Take a book with you to read!<br />
Leaf through pages as they leaf through clothing rails.<br />
<br />
If the age they take's Jurassic<br />
Then read a weighty classic<br />
And their indecision won't be such a grind.<br />
Discard the ills you wish 'em -<br />
Read Lee Childs or maybe Grisham<br />
Thrillers are a great time filler you will find.<br />
<br />
So engross yourself with reading<br />
Whilst the shopping bags are breeding;<br />
The progeny of all the cash they spend.<br />
And when they finish shopping<br />
Don't be pressured into stopping.<br />
Let them wait until the chapter meets its end!Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-67477602146328781252019-04-22T19:20:00.000+01:002019-04-22T19:20:24.398+01:00Poetic LicenceHello! Long time no write!<br />
<br />
Well, that's not strictly true. No blogging here, but writing elsewhere. Lyrics for sea songs written sporadically. And having started collecting Sylvanian Family figures, I'm supplementing this with illustrated flash-fiction in a blog called mellowdene.blogspot.com under the name Jackson Butterglove.<br />
<br />
One other outlet has grown from the occasional quick verse written in response to a Facebook post that has caught my interest. Case in point: the following short poem as a result of Edgar Allen Poe and my liking for wordplay.<br />
<br />
<b>Poetic</b> <b>Licence</b><br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Keats would just be Eats</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Without his Special K.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Duffy would be duff </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">By not concluding “why?”</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Pope would be a father</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Had he had his end away.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Browning would be burning</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">With the toaster turned up high.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Byron would be Ron</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Had he not started by.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">We could have made Wilf Owen own</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Had he not taken “e”.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Ruskin would be Ruskie</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">had he switched from north to east,</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Poe would be a Poet </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">if he hadn’t missed his tea.</span></span><br />
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Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-32787093376156550812018-02-15T22:57:00.000+00:002018-02-15T22:57:49.716+00:00The Ships That Won't Go Down (music)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vNAmNZ5cagw/WoYP5A-H1lI/AAAAAAAAAn8/Hck0prRO31EnBKHJN-aIdi-6B25dn4OqQCLcBGAs/s1600/Ship.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="519" data-original-width="292" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vNAmNZ5cagw/WoYP5A-H1lI/AAAAAAAAAn8/Hck0prRO31EnBKHJN-aIdi-6B25dn4OqQCLcBGAs/s320/Ship.JPG" width="180" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been some time since I posted something to this blog. There has been a distinct lack of poetry - as poetry - from my brain/hand recently. This isn't to say I've been idle. My words have been created with a view to adding music - so they are lyrics, even though they tend to adopt a standard meter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being a member of the Lytham St Annes Shanty Crew, I've been writing the occasional song to add to our repertoire. I've been writing words and music, arranging sea shanties, and in January I was particularly active.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having discovered a website of public domain poems, I've started trawling through the many hundreds of poems looking for nautical ones that have a rhythm that begs for me to write some music.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of these was a poem of "<b>The Ships That Won't Go Down</b>" by Australian poet Henry Lawson. The free program MuseScore 2 was handy to create the manuscript, and after a little practice I was happy enough to create a multi-track recording that I could present as a demo to the crew.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I created a SoundCloud account and uploaded the demo.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So here's a link - just to show I truly am doing some writing!</span><br />
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<a href="https://soundcloud.com/user-108871411/the-ships-that-wont-go-down-demo" target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/user-108871411/the-ships-that-wont-go-down-demo</a>Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-37885701599929698572017-11-15T14:05:00.000+00:002017-11-15T14:05:01.041+00:00Pictorial PunsJust a heads' up.<br />
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I have created a new page on "Some Wry T'ings" that will be the home for "pictorial puns". Alternative spellings will be used to create an exact (or reasonable approximation) phrase for (initially) song titles, and a series of images will reflect those spellings.<br />
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Not sure what I mean? Have a look. It will hopefully be a little clearer.<br />
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I have tried to select images that Google reports as having suitable usage rights, but I'm only human. Yes, really. If someone should have copyright issues on a particular image and objects to its use here, please comment below with the details. I'll remove/modify the pun-image accordingly.<br />
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So, why this new page? Why the lack of new poems on this blog?<br />
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a) a bit of fun, and I like playing around with word meanings and humour.<br />
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b) my poems at the moment tend to be directed as lyrics to shanties/sea-songs that I'm writing for the Lytham St Anne's Shanty Crew. We have been performing and recording (we've been in a studio and created our first CD - way-hey!) to raise money for our local Lifeboat appeal. It's going well. We've got a website, Facebook and Twitter presence, business cards, and have invested in microphones and such for bigger gigs. So - sorry for the lack of poems here recently. I might put some more lyrics on the blog. Watch this space.<br />
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<br />Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1238470969708867964.post-27917885406034592312017-08-18T21:54:00.000+01:002017-08-18T21:57:13.932+01:00Sloppy Poem<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just a quickie - in response to a request for a sloppy love poem. So what's sloppy</span>?<br />
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<b>Sloppy Poem</b><br />
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Your glist'ning eyes are sunlit dew,<br />
Your lips are raspb'rry jam,<br />
Your teeth are white as cottage cheese,<br />
Your tongue - wet pink boiled ham.<br />
Your voice is melted chocolate,<br />
Your hair soft Cornish ice,<br />
And though you dribble in your sleep<br />
I think you're kind of nice.<br />
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Steven Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11533309957026545272noreply@blogger.com0