Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Cursory Rhymes

For the June Pub Poets' "Nursery Rhyme" theme, a touch of satire.

A government White Paper has been leaked regarding changes to the National Curriculum as it applies to nursery and primary schools. A select committee has decided that too much time and money is spent upon the learning of nursery rhymes, and a saving could be made if many of the rhymes were merged. The saving in time could then be used to introduce indoctrination – sorry, that should read information – into the support of the good work performed by the Cabinet.

The following is in response to this – entitled

Cursory Rhymes.

Little Jack Horner sat on a tuffet
eating his blackbird pie.
Down fell a Humpty, tripped over Jack's bucket
that Jill had left nearby.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
although the cupboard was bare –
for Simple Simon couldn’t afford
the pies sold at the fair.

Jack's blackbird pie - it was the last;
no hot cross buns, no tuppenny rice,
the Queen of Hearts had no spare tarts,
no sugar and spice and all things nice.
Whilst Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
had a little lamb,
the Spratts had eaten all the rest,
including Bo-Peep's ram.

Hey diddle diddle, some folk chose to fiddle,
Tommy Tucker he sang for his supper.
Some little piggies - went to food banks for victuals *,
Willie Winkie was being improper.
There was an old woman whose life was askew –
no dainty dish for her – today.
Hickory dickory - it's all gone to cock.
So how is it things ... turned out this way?

There was a crooked man and he smiled a crooked smile,
Teamed up with Georgie Porgie to adopt a crooked style.
He brought in crooked cronies, power mad like him and then -
They all conspired together in the crooked Number Ten.

*[pron. Vittles]