A government White Paper has been leaked regarding changes to the National Curriculum as it applies to nursery and primary schools. A select committee has decided that too much time and money is spent upon the learning of nursery rhymes, and a saving could be made if many of the rhymes were merged. The saving in time could then be used to introduce indoctrination – sorry, that should read information – into the support of the good work performed by the Cabinet.
The following is in response to this – entitled
Cursory Rhymes.
Little Jack Horner sat on a tuffet
eating his blackbird pie.
Down fell a Humpty, tripped over Jack's bucket
that Jill had left nearby.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
although the cupboard was bare –
for Simple Simon couldn’t afford
the pies sold at the fair.
Jack's blackbird pie - it was the last;
no hot cross buns, no tuppenny rice,
the Queen of Hearts had no spare tarts,
no sugar and spice and all things nice.
Whilst Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
had a little lamb,
the Spratts had eaten all the rest,
including Bo-Peep's ram.
Hey diddle diddle, some folk chose to fiddle,
Tommy Tucker he sang for his supper.
Some little piggies - went to food banks for victuals *,
Willie Winkie was being improper.
There was an old woman whose life was askew –
no dainty dish for her – today.
Hickory dickory - it's all gone to cock.
So how is it things ... turned out this way?
There was a crooked man and he smiled a crooked smile,
Teamed up with Georgie Porgie to adopt a crooked style.
He brought in crooked cronies, power mad like him and then -
They all conspired together in the crooked Number Ten.
*[pron. Vittles]
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